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  • Internet Computer Christmas

    I had to delete the 1st version as the attachment did not work.

    I have not been on WCI in several weeks. Living in a remote area and depending on an AT&T hotspot for internet access has its drawbacks. I am having problems that, hopefully, my son will have time to correct after the holidays.

    In the meantime, I want to wish all of my Frien's a happy end of 2018 and the very best for 2019. Can't remember if I shared 12 days of Christmas on the Bayou but hope you enjoy a repeat if I did. As you read please remember that in the Cajun Culture, humor is the spice that makes life worth living.
    Twelve Days of Christmas on the Bayou

    On da 1st day of Christmas

    My Dearest Emile Boudreaux,

    Tanks for da bird in da Pear tree. I fix it las night with some dirty rice. I doan tink da Pear tree will grow in da swamp so I swap it for a Satsuma.

    Your own true love, Angelique

    On da 2nd day of Christmas

    My Dearest Emile Boudreaux,

    Your card say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with some andouille and mada da gumbo outta dem.

    Your own true love, Angelique

    On da 3rd day of Christmas

    Dearest Boudreaux,

    Why doan you sent some crawfish. I’m tired of eatin dem demn birds. I give two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Bayou Teche and fed one to my dog Phideaux. Marie need sum sparrin partners for her fightin roosters.

    Your own true love, Angelique

    On da 4th day of Christmas

    Dear Boudreaux,

    Mon Dieux! I told you no more friggin birds. Dese four, how you call “calling birds”, were so noisy you could hear dem all da way up to Big Mamou. I used dere necks for my crab traps and fed da res ah dem to da alligators.

    Love, Angelique

    On da 5th day of Christmas

    Dearest Boudreaux,

    You finally sen sumtin useful. I liked dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat and buy a round for da boys at da Raisin’ Hell Saloon. Merci beaucoup.

    Your own true love, Angelique

    On da 6th day of Christmas

    Dear Boudreaux,

    Couchon! Back to da birds, you Coonass Turkey. Pore egg-suckin Phideaux is scared to def of dem six gooses. He done tried to eat dere eggs and dey peck da hell out of his snout. Dere good at eaten cockroaches for sho. I may stuff one of dem wit orster dressin for Easter dinner.

    Your, Angelique

    On da 7th day of Christmas


    I’m gonna ring your **** fool neck da nex time I see you. Dupree, da mailman, he ready to kill you too. Da merde from all dem damm birds is stinkin up his mail boat. He fraid somebody dun gon slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let dose seven swans loose to swim on da bayou and some duck hunters frum Missipi done blast dem out of da water. Talk to you tomorra.

    Angelique

    On da 8th day of Christmas

    Boudreaux,

    Pore ol Dupree had to make tree trip on his mail boat to daliver dem 8 maids a milkin and dere cows. One ah dem cows dun been scared by da alligator and most tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me, no! I tol dem to get to work guttin fish and sweepin da shack, but dey say it wasn in dere contrac. Dey probly tink dey too **** good ta skin out da nutrias I caught las’ night.

    Angelique

    On da 9th day of Christmas

    Boudreaux,


    What you try to do, hanh? Dupree had to borry da Lafayette Ferryboat to carry dem jumpin clowns dat you call “Lords a Leapin” cross da bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wan a tea break wit crumpets. What ever da hell dat is. I tol dem you take chicory coffee or nuttin! Mon Dieu, Emile. What I gonna feed all dese peoples? Day too snooty for fried nutria and da cows done ate up all my turnips.

    Angelique


    On da 10th day of Christmas

    Boudreaux,

    You got to be out of your mind! If Dupree don kill you, I will, an das for a fack. Today he daliver 10 half nekked floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey say dey be ladies dancin’, but dey doan ack like no ladies when dey dance for dose leapin lords. Dey almos lef when one of dem got bit by da water moccasin by my outhouse. I had to butcher da geeses to feed tout le monde. Den get sum toilet paper. Da Sears catalog too rough for dose hoity toity lord’s royal butts.

    P.S. If you get a mysterious, tickin package in da mail, doan open it!

    Angelique

    On da 11th day of Christmas

    Dear Boudreaux,

    How yall are? Your pipers pipin arrive at dinner time and everone is set down to eat dere gumbo. Den dem bagpipes started to howl "Away in da Manger". It mos scared da cows to death. Dey started to stampeed tru da streets. Everone run to da church swearin it da end of da world. Dey don heard dem four horsemen devils a screamin and hear da cloven hoofs stomp pass dere houses. Fajder Gaston, him, he dun have a Mass to cass out da demons.

    Ol Dupree don jump off da Chafalya Bridge a screamin your name all da way to da water. I done got tings calm down wit da new mailman when he drink up my Blue Ribbon Beer an dance wit da floozies.

    I calm down da neighbors by roas up some more of dem birds and have a fais-do-do. You may not wan to come home for a while.

    Sincerely Angelique

    On da last day of Christmas

    My frien’ Boudreaux,

    I’m sorry to tol you dis, but I am not your own true love no more. After da fais-do-do, I spen da night wit Jacque, da head piper. We gon open a cafe and gentlemen’s club on da bayou. Da floozies, pardon me, Ladies Dancing can make $20 for a table dance and da lords a leapin’ gonna valet park da boats. Since da maids doan got no more cows to milk, I done train dem to wait on tables. We probly gonna make a million dollars nex year. Tank you for all da Christmas gifts.

    Angelique

  • #2
    Love it!!! Thanks for posting and a very Merry Christmas to you and your family.

    Comment


    • #3
      And that is called resourcefulness! And it is great!

      Comment


      • #4
        Well……………..laughing
        Herb

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        • #5
          ROTFLMAO...... Good read Paul. I can relate to some of that dialect as I live very close to an Acadian community from wence some of those cajun's came to the south in 1755...
          If you're looking for me, you'll find me in a pile of wood chips somewhere...

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          • #6
            Love it, how that sounds like home! Acadians up this way, I mean. Keep up the good work Paul, have a very Merry Christmas my friend. Love to Diana!

            Bob
            Before they slip me over the standing part of the fore sheet, let them pipe: "Up Spirits" one more time.

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            • #7
              Love it Paul really enjoyed reading this, thanks so much.
              Mark N. Akers
              My Etsy Store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KarolinaKarver

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              • #8
                Good one, Paul! I wonder how many who aren't from Louisiana are wondering what a fais-do-do is...How about you all posting your best guesses? Should be fun!

                BUT...no fair Googling, just make it from the top of your head!
                Arthur

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                • #9
                  Nighty night Arthur.

                  Tinwood

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Arthur C. View Post
                    Good one, Paul! I wonder how many who aren't from Louisiana are wondering what a fais-do-do is...How about you all posting your best guesses? Should be fun!

                    BUT...no fair Googling, just make it from the top of your head!
                    I'm headed to Louisiana as soon as I can find my " chaussures de danse "......
                    Last edited by Soggy; 12-20-2018, 09:26 AM.
                    If you're looking for me, you'll find me in a pile of wood chips somewhere...

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                    • #11
                      I always love stories from our neighbors to the East. And when My frien’ Boudreaux is in it it is a hoot to read. Thanks again

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hawaiian 12 days of Christmas....have a wonderful one Paul!!!!
                        . Explore! Dream! Discover!” aloha Di

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                        • #13
                          Ah! Puaʻa puaʻa Love it!

                          Claude
                          My FaceBook Page: https://www.facebook.com/ClaudesWoodCarving/
                          My Pinterest Page: https://www.pinterest.com/cfreaner/
                          My Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/claudeswoodcarving/
                          My ETSY Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ClaudesWoodcarving

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