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New discovery!

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  • New discovery!

    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
    heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
    named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
    assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic
    mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it
    can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into
    contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days
    to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass
    will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
    morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
    believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
    quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
    as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
    Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as
    Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons...
    "Lif iz lik a box "o" choc lets, ya nevr kno whut yull git!"

  • #2
    Re: New discovery!


    I read the same scientific article and you forgot to include the section where the scientist explained that if you try to split a Governmentium element all of the individual particles tend to go forever in little useless circles. Plus the spliting process leaves an odd bi-product ... stacks and stacks of paper work!



    Art Designs Studio:


    • #3
      Re: New discovery!

      HA! FUNNNY!


      • #4
        Re: New discovery!

        And the folks in New Orleans wonder why it's taking soooo long.Angry


        • #5
          Re: New discovery!

          Another function of governmentium is the way is self-replicates. Left to its own devices, within it's 4-year half-life, each of the deputy neutrons will branch off to form new atom, with each deputy neutron becoming a full neutron. The compliment of assistant neutrons, etc., is promoted and new deputy assistant neutrons are created. This function is called "burecracy," and tends to complicate itself and perpetuate itself beyond the 4-year half-life of the element.

          Scientists believe that if the burecracy function is left unchecked long enough, governmentium will actually forn a new element called "totalitarianium," which feeds on the "Brave New World" or "Big Brother" system. The Big Brother system was first introduced in 1984 <grin>.



          • #6
            Re: New discovery!

            Kindly brought to you by those that wish bigger government! lol
            "Lif iz lik a box "o" choc lets, ya nevr kno whut yull git!"


            • #7
              Re: New discovery!


              Having slept through more than a few of my chemistry classes, I believed it until I got to the catalyzed with money part, then I became confused....


              • #8
                Re: New discovery!

                That's Hilarious!Talking
                I still can't stop chuckling!Thumbs Up
                I bet it's radioactive, distroying the braincells of any individual that stays near it!Bouncing S