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Ramblings of a Retired Mind

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  • Ramblings of a Retired Mind

    Got this from my uncle today. He's 80 years old and refuses to take the senior discount anywhere.


    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I seldom need one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

    You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

    I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

    I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

    I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

    When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

    Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

    As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.


    Also from my uncle today...

    Life of a cowboy

    An old cowboy walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut
    and he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his
    cheeks are wrinkled from age.

    The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells
    the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

    When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the
    cleanest shave he's had in years.

    But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had
    swallowed that little ball.

    The barber replied,"Just bring it back in a couple of days
    like everyone else does".
    Terry

  • #2
    Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

    A few welcome chuckles. I like the way your mind works.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

      That is some funny stuff, but very true. Thanks for the laughs.
      Carve On,
      Kadiddle

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

        that was good one must never take life too seriously

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

          Dang it Terry, I resemble that statement.

          Tom.
          If I took the time to fix all my mistakes, I wouldn,t have time to make new ones.

          www.spokanecarvers.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

            Hey Terry,
            Sure hope your Uncle keeps writin' and you keep postin', thanks.

            Dan

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

              Terry,

              My mind ramblels, I think I need to retire also. Great thoughts thanks for sharing

              Mark

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                Those were great . I will definitely steal the ball joke . To funny !

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                  It was great rambling with your uncle! Thanks for the post.

                  Al

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                    I like your uncle.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                      You've made some very good points! I always wondered what that ball was on the barber's shelf...good thing I never went in there for a shave! Thanks for the laughs.
                      Keep On Carvin'
                      Bob K.

                      My Woodcarving blog: https://www.woodchipchatter.com


                      My Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/robert.kozakiewicz.9


                      My RWK Woodcarving Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/rwkwood


                      My Pinterest page: https://www.pinterest.com/rwkoz51/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                        Thank you so much for the laughs. fred k

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                          This post sure brought a big smile to my face.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                            I'd say you're still bouncing your ball. Thanks for the laughs.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                              Thanks for the laughs this morning. Good stuff!

                              Comment

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