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True experience

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  • True experience

    Yep, one of Ken's lame stories coming up.

    A few weeks ago, we had a rash of door to door salesmen going door to door selling anything from meat, fruit, vaccum cleaners, what have you>
    Now, let me say, I do not like door to door saleman and get irritated when they ring the door bell. Now, don't think of me harshly as Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts or School organization are fine. However, Thes guys and Gals are very pushy when they ring the door bell.
    Well, after several days of almost none stop salesman, this one came up and rung the door bell. The liitle bride went to the door and opened it and the guy already had the storm door open which really upsets not only me but the little bride also. He says in a southern draw(fake), Y'll don't shoot salesman in this part of the country do ya"?
    Well, my darling little bride answers with an evil smiles and said,"NO".
    This salesdude thinks he has it made and says agin, "Then what do you do to them"? Now that is one dumb question to be asking my little bride that usually carrys that "Dang Club" every where she goes.
    With that evil smile that I am getting use to, she slams the door in the salesduude's face . Now I was looking out as she did this, and the biggest dumbest puzzled look came over his face and it took him a couple of minutes before he picked up whatever he was trying to sale us and moved on to the next house.
    Well, My neigbor has been gone for 5 years visting his lovely bride in the sky and it took the dude 5 minutes before he realized there wasn't anyone there!

    Now, I don't know what kind of education is required for a door to door saleman but this dude must have slept through grade school and college.
    Yeper, True happening and funny!
    Proud of that woman for sure.
    Personally, I believe there should be open season on door to door saleman.
    No offence to anyone and I apologize if I have offended anyone.

  • #2
    Re: True experience

    Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.....

    My wife doesn't tolerate door to door OR phone sales pitches. AT ALL. I'm a little more lienient (sp?) but don't ususally let them get into their pitch too far. I realize that they are just doing their job - not that I agree with it, but it is their job. Anyway, she's straight forward - click.

    When we had the dogs - she would let the "mean" one charge the door. That ususally sent them scurrying - and in a hurry.
    Member of Caricature Carvers of America
    My website:


    • #3
      Re: True experience

      i like getting the phone calls i have special ways of making them feel i am on the verge of nervous breakdown and after about ten minutes of giving them the run down of my life for the last 20 years they are glad to get me off the works ask carolina carver, i got rid of one for him one weekend that pestered him everyday.



      • #4
        Re: True experience

        Being in business, I get more than my share of cold-calls (solicitors).

        My standard practice is to answer the phone, as soon as I know it is a solicitor, I say
        "oh! you want to talk to Rick, please hold while I get him for you." and lay the phone down on the desk.
        They normally hold nearly five minutes before I hear the beep-beep of their disconnect.
        I am pretty sure if everyone did the same, they would soon stop bothering people.


        • #5
          Re: True experience

          After no less than three salesmen in less than 90 minutes selling a well known dish network package (oops..did I give the name away?), I'd had enough. (What do they do..dump these guys out by the vanload??!).

          So, the inevitable 4th doorbell rings. I am through being "civil", and after informing the guy that I wouldn't buy anything from a company that couldn't even coordinate a sales force, what makes you think I'll let you within 100 feet of any of my electronics, I inform him that it's my husband that makes all the decisions about purchases.

          "Oh, well, then...I'll come back later when he's home. When will that be?"

          I says (believe it or not, I worked up some watery eyes for this one, prolly the aggravation)..."Ten years. He's in prison."
          Then just waited for him to take the bait.

          When he got through blinking, he just couldn't help but ask..."Uh...what's he in for?"

          "Second degree murder...a door to door salesman."

          His door-to-door-salesman-butt moved pretty fast, I'll tell you what.

          I've got a special routine that is guaranteed to get rid of telemarketers, but it's very R-rated. Hilarious, though.


          • #6
            Re: True experience

            Fantastic story Lori,any thing to get rid of the door to door,thats true wood-whittler did get rid of one during a seminar,think I still owe him something.
            Mark N. Akers
            My Etsy Store:


            • #7
              Re: True experience


              That is hilarious!

              I still wonder the degree of(or the lack of) education these dudes have.

              Ah, to be cleaning one of my pistols when one of these dudes come to the door.


              • #8
                Re: True experience

                How about a small flower bed in the front yard, about 2 feet wide and 6 feet long with a cross that says "unknown door to door salesman" ha ha
                "Lif iz lik a box "o" choc lets, ya nevr kno whut yull git!"


                • #9
                  Re: True experience

                  Alright Lori, you must post the R-rated method to get rid of telemarketers. TOM H


                  • #10
                    Re: True experience

                    YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!
                    You did what we all should do I love it!


                    • #11
                      Re: True experience

                      Very funny stuff. They come buy my place of work and will start to pull out their junk while we have customers in the lobby! Most of them are about my age and don't seem to understand why I throw them out faster than they can say "Just for to day this will only cost you".

                      For some strange reason they don't come around to many homes in my area. Guess to many people have guns in my neck of the woods Cowboy .

                      As far as the phone calls go my borther used to drag out the calls to the very end and then right before they would sign them up he would ask if he had to be 18. Its amazing how long those guys will stay on the line if they think they will get a sale.


                      • #12
                        Re: True experience

                        I had a fellow pester me for about 4 days in a row once, I was a third shifter and had a sign on the door saying 3rd shifter, day sleeper, please do not disturb. (wife was a first shifter). don't know what he was selling, didn't give him a chance, just told him I wasn't interested, day 2 same thing, day 3 to say the least just a tad !@#$% off and asked him if he could read, fourth day wasn't his day. I heard the knock on the door, peeked out the window and couldn't believe my eyes, there was two of em, him from the previos day and a buddy. I procedded to the door in my shorts opened the door and told him I would be right back, I came back with a Remington XP 100 (bolt action pistol with a 14" barrel chambered in 35 caliber with a scope)) told him I wasn't responsible for Mr. Remington's actions if he didn't like what he heard. There was a cloud of smoke and a bad odor where they wuz standin, never seen em again. True story.


                        • #13
                          Re: True experience

                          I had several salespeople at the door since I moved to the big city. I have a video phone on my door that when you ring the door bell the camera comes on and shows a video on the monitor inside. It also has an intercom since I can't see who is there I just ask who it is. Well one salesman was selling magazines. I tried to explain to him that magazines did me little good. Except WCI of course I'm not that crazy. Anyway to make a long story short he wouldn't take no for an answer. This video phone also has it's own phone and several handy little buttons. One takes a picture and another blast a siren. So I just pushed the buttons and told him I had a picture of his ugly mug and was calling police. He moved out of the neighborhood real fast. I hope the siren broke his eardrums.


                          • #14
                            Re: True experience

                            Great solutions all. If Ron added flashing lights that would be my hands down favorite.
                            I greet unwanted visitors in my Jehova's witness garb


                            • #15
                              Re: True experience

                              I used to haul fuel to a ranch just south of the Grand Canyon, it was about 15 miles down a dirt road so they didn't get salesmen just pesky tourists. They had a big sign "Trespassers wil be Experimented On", with an alien picture. They claimed it did the trick.
                              When telemarketers call and ask how I am doing, I like to reply in a very flat voice, "I am in the middle of a fight with my wife". That usually ends that call. Cracks my wife up.