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101 reasons why..

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  • DICK "chipncut" CAIN
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    I thoroughly enjoyed the two stories about Albert & his stick. I copied it & sent it to my friends.

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  • Marci MN
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    LOL...that story was a fun read! Thanks for posting that one.

    This list has also been fun to read. The stirring of the buffalo chips has me wondering... Mmm...

    A few more reasons:

    To wack at that charcoal bag to make sure theres no gartner snakes in there when I reach in to get charcoal out. There were four snakes in there last year.

    To reach up and unhook a curtian rod when my arm was to short to reach that corner.

    To haul a heavy dutch oven between two people.

    To push that last suitcase off the vans lugage rack into waiting hands on the other side.

    To push the boat away from the dock when heading out to go fishing.

    A trucker friend said he'd use his walking stick to thunk the tires of his truck before heading out. He takes his walking stick with him on his hauls. He may go hiking or walking the town he's stuck in for a few days and likes to have his stick with him.

    I used my stick yesterday while walking in the woods at my mothers. I was wacking trees to see if any of them were hollow sounding. ( I need my ears checked..they all sounded hollow). LOL

    To hold up so the auctioneer can see your bidding?

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  • wade clark
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    Oh! As a pointer for an Auctioneer! How could I have missed that one!?! I'm an Auctioneer, those of you who don't already know!

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  • wade clark
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    How about for steadying a camera? Or pretending you know how to twirl ... until you hurt yourself? Or for tipping your hat, or pulling a bad act off the stage before the tomatoes mess the place up! Or to hold your hat above the log when someone's trying to shoot you? (That one was my Wife, Paula's!)

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  • Old_Gord
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    'E right on Rick.Thumbs Up



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  • rick-in-seattle
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    I can't takes no more!

    The Return of Albert
    You've 'eard 'ow young Albert Ramsbottom,
    In the Zoo up at Blackpool one year,
    With a stick and 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
    Gave a lion a poke in the ear.

    The name of the lion was Wallace,
    The poke in the ear made 'im wild;
    And before you could say 'Bob's your Uncle,'
    'E'd up and 'e'd swallered the child.

    'E were sorry the moment 'e'd done it,
    With children 'e'd always been chums,
    And besides, 'e'd no teeth in 'is noodle,
    And 'e couldn't chew Albert on t'gums.

    'E could feel the lad moving inside 'im,
    As 'e lay on 'is bed of dried ferns,
    And it might 'ave been little lad's birthday,
    'E wished 'im such 'appy returns.

    But Albert kept kicking and fighting,
    Till Wallace arose feeling bad,
    And felt it were time that 'e started to stage
    A come-back for the lad.

    So with 'is 'ead down in a corner,
    On 'is front paws 'e started to walk,
    And 'e coughed and 'e sneezed and 'e gargled,
    Till Albert shot out like a cork.

    Old Wallace felt better direc'ly,
    And 'is figure once more became lean,
    But the only difference with Albert
    Was 'is face and 'is 'ands were quite clean.

    Meanwhile Mister and Missus Ramsbottom
    'Ad gone 'ome to tea feeling blue;
    Ma says 'I feel down in the mouth like,'
    Pa says "Aye! I bet Albert does too.'

    Said Ma 'It just goes for to show yer
    That the future is never revealed,
    If I thought we was going to lose 'im
    I'd 'ave not 'ad 'is boots soled and 'eeled.

    'Let's look on the bright side,' said Father
    'What can't be 'elped must be endured,
    Every cloud 'as a silvery lining,
    And we did 'ave young Albert insured.'

    A knock at the door came that moment,
    As Father these kind words did speak,
    'Twas the man from t'Prudential,
    E'd called for their 'tuppence per person per week.'

    When Father saw who 'ad been knocking,
    'E laughed and 'e kept laughing so,
    That the young man said 'What's there to laugh at?'
    Pa said 'You'll laugh an' all when you know.'

    'Excuse 'im for laughing,' said Mother,
    'But really things 'appen so strange,
    Our Albert's been ate by a lion,
    You've got to pay us for a change.'

    Said the young feller from the Prudential,
    'Now, come come, let's understand this,
    You don't mean to say that you've lost 'im?'
    Ma says 'Oh, no! we know where 'e is.'

    When the young man 'ad 'eard all the details,
    A bag from 'is pocket he drew,
    And he paid them with interest and bonus,
    The sum of nine pounds four and two.

    Pa 'ad scarce got 'is 'and on the money,
    When a face at the window they see,
    And Mother says 'Eeh! look, it's Albert,'
    And Father says 'Aye, it would be.'

    Young Albert came in all excited,
    and started 'is story to give,
    And Pa says 'I'll never trust lions again,
    Not as long as I live.'

    The young feller from the Prudential
    To pick up his money began,
    And Father says 'Eeh! just a moment,
    Don't be in a hurry, young man.'

    Then giving young Albert a shilling,
    He said 'Pop off back to the Zoo.
    'Ere's your stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
    Go and see what the Tigers can do!'

    Marriott Edgar

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    It, Gord!

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  • Tom-H
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    Her's one that hasen't been posted. 10 minutes ago my wife changed the diaper of the neighbors little girl, and handed the dirty one to me to get rid of. Well at that precise moment I was buffing a stick I had just finished. That stick helped me transport that stinky - foul smelling diaper outside to the garbage can. At least I remained 55 inches away from it. Tom H

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  • Old_Gord
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    Hmmm... I would have thought all males of Ricks age bracket would have learned the lesson well as a youngster about poking wild animals! You mean you never listened to Stanley Holloway reciting the ode about Albert and his stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle.

    Guess it's time to remind again.
    Hope no one minds it is long.

    There's a famous seaside town called Blackpool,
    That's noted for fresh air and fun,
    And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
    Went there with young Albert, their son.

    A grand little lad was young Albert
    All dressed in his best; quite a swell
    With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle
    The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

    They didn't think much to the Ocean
    The waves, they were fiddlin' and small
    There was no wrecks and nobody drownded
    Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.
    So, seeking for further amusement
    They paid and went to the zoo
    Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
    And old ale and sandwiches too.

    There were one great big lion called Wallace
    His nose were all covered with scars
    He lay in a somnolent posture
    With the side of his face on the bars.

    Now Albert had heard about lions
    How they was ferocious and wild
    To see Wallace lying so peaceful
    Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

    So straight 'way the brave little feller
    Not showing a morsel of fear
    Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
    And shoved it in Wallace's ear.
    You could see the lion didn't like it
    For giving a kind of a roll
    He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
    And swallowed the little lad 'ole

    Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence
    And didn't know what to do next
    Said "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert"
    And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"

    Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
    Quite rightly, when all's said and done
    Complained to the Animal Keeper
    That the lion had eaten their son.

    The keeper was quite nice about it
    He said "What a nasty mishap
    Are you sure it's your boy he's eaten?"
    Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!"
    The manager had to be sent for
    He came and he said "What's to do?"
    Pa said "Yon lion's 'et Albert
    And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."

    Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller
    I think it's a shame and a sin
    For a lion to go and eat Albert
    And after we've paid to come in."

    The manager wanted no trouble
    He took out his purse right away
    Saying "How much to settle the matter?"
    And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"

    But Mother had turned a bit awkward
    When she thought where her Albert had gone
    She said "No! someone's got to be summonsed"
    So that was decided upon.
    Then off they went to the Police Station
    In front of the Magistrate chap
    They told 'im what happened to Albert
    And proved it by showing his cap.

    The Magistrate gave his opinion
    That no one was really to blame
    And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
    Would have further sons to their name.

    At that Mother got proper blazing
    "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she
    "What waste all our lives raising children
    To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"

    BTW there is a happy ending to this saga if anyone wants me to post it. Smile



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  • rick-in-seattle
    Re: 101 reasons why..


    Perhaps a more valuable treatise would be what not to use a walking stick for.
    Mistakes I have made with walking sticks include (but are not limited to);

    Checking large wasp nests for occupants by poking at them, ranks near the top of my list.

    Giving a group of ruffians what for; and then not being able to outrun them.

    Checking the thickness of lake ice while standing on said ice.

    Throwing your stick at a mountain lion who is just standing there minding his own business.

    I could go on and on, but the memories are too painful to bear.

    That reminds me, never poke a bear to see if it is still alive.

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  • squbrigg
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    To keep you from falling on your a** when you become an old geezer prematurely.

    You're a carver, they are a walking advertizment to your skills.....or lack of them!!

    Who needs a reason, they just look really cool when carved. Goody, I like your/Ashby's explanations though best!


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  • whitecree
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    As a prop to hold the door open.

    As a weapon to defend yourself from a burglar.

    As a conversation piece to start a conversation with that cute young thing.

    As a 'rifle' for your grandkids to play with.

    As an emergency bat for a scratch game of baseball.

    As an arrow for a really huge bow.

    As a distraction when you forget to zip up.

    As an emergency remote control for when the batteries die in the little plastic doohickey.

    Wrapped in tinsel, it makes a decent Xmas tree.

    Practice your javelin hurling skills.

    Use it as a 'bite' stick if you have to re-locate your dislocated shoulder.

    If you have four, use them as tally pegs on a really large cribbage board.

    Get 30 or 40 of them, and play a giant's game of pick up sticks.

    Use it as a giant's toothpick.

    Ram it into that leak in your canoe. At the same time, it will serve as a mast.

    Use to pole down a creek when you lose your paddle. (everybody is familiar with that creek, aren't they?

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  • Tom-H
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    Marci, Fun idea! I'm thinkin....I am thinking that you are actually serious about this list as a marketing tool, and will keep track of all the ideas, and post them later. Or should those of us that are interested build a list from the replies? Tom H

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    Dave, you are absolutely right about the functional use of the walking stick, and it's varied acceptance.

    As a "lightweight" hike afficianado, your dislike of the stick is understandable. There are many, like myself, who have spent many days hiking, both with and without a pack, and I personally like having a good stout walking staff. Mine is bicep high, sturdy ironwood with a cast iron tip. I do burn my destinations onto it as I finish each hike. Kinda like a journal of travels. Of absolutely no value to anyone but me. No carved features on this one, it's strictly functional.

    I've taken many young Scouts out on extended back packing expeditions and have recommended them using a hiking staff.......some seem to like them and others don't care for them. For those that do, the staff seems to become an extension for their arms. for those that don't, theytend to borrow one if having to wade a swift stream or cross on a narrow log.

    I've also used canes, when my knees are bothering me, sometimes on long walks. Canes, are a whole 'nudder matter, but can well be classed with the walking sticks. A little more useful to more people, and sometimes very necessar for wasted knees, hips and ankles.

    To this use, I'd add a few more reasons you need a "cane"

    To help balance unsteady walkers

    To provide added support to damaged knees

    To "strut" with!


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  • Lightningbolt
    Re: 101 reasons why..

    From the list that you have begun it appears that you're looking for the practical reasons for having a walking stick. Personally, I'd have to go along with the last couple of posts' which speak of friendship, conversation, or used to recall a great experience such as a memorable hike.

    Speaking for myself (you're not gonna like this for encouraging sales $$) after thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail Georgia to Maine, the Pacific Crest Trail Mexico to Canada... and other hikes, I hate totin' a walking stick. Hey, I also sell a lot of walking sticks so don't get too mad at me!

    After spending months and months "on the trail" I've tried using them and even forced myself to use one for an extended period of hiking but I just could never get used to it. My personal hiking style requires that I have my hands completely free to use in "rythemn" with my legs, whether it's swinging around a corner by grabbing a small tree or limb or just swinging them in rythemn with my feet. The bottom line for me is that a walking stick is just extra weight and weight is bad when on a hike of several thousand miles.

    I've also met a lot of long distance hiker's that can't walk a foot without their walking stick or in a lot of cases two ski sticks. They use them as an extension of their legs just like I use my hands.

    It's a persoal preference and in some cases a walking stick is as essential to a successful hike as is obtaining food & water, especially in the case of the amazing Bill Irwin, a blind man who hiked the entire Appalachian Trail and wrote a book "Blind Courage" to recount the experience. I also have the video of his hike which is quite an accomplishment.

    Sorry for rambling and adding more than you probably wanted :-)

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