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How to get ready for Holidays

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  • How to get ready for Holidays

    I was starting a Santa and realized I had been so busy , thinking about what I needed to do, that to do a Santa or Christmas carving I really need just a bit of the Christmas spirit. So I did a Search for the night be for Christmas and found all kinds of warped poems . So spending a few mins I did one of my own . Kinda worked hope you all like it. Ice Cream

    Was the night before Christmas
    And Darn I was tired
    My hands were all blistered and I had not a smile
    But the last order was done and at last I could rest
    But suddenly there was a pounding in my chest

    Away to the kitchen I flew
    Looking for a bottle of Mylanta or two!
    I open the door and to my delight, there was a chocolate cake
    Oh what a site!

    Sugar be **** , stomach two
    I just had to have a bite .. or two
    My hands were shaking as I picked up the plate
    Threw open the freezer
    for the ice cream too.

    Like a rat in heaven , I horded my find
    Then an evil hiss invaded my mind!
    There she stood , tapping her foot …
    Just what do you think your doing she screamed?
    As I looked at her I thought Is it Halloween?

    The robe that she wore, was such a delight
    Four sizes to big , my word what a sight !
    The curlers she wore, could hide a house
    I swear in one I saw a mouse!

    Get out of here she continued to say
    That cake is for Christmas and not today!
    So better to give , I put it away
    Because I wanted to live another day!

    I hear her exclaim, as she stomped through the house
    Get your *** to bed , you lazy louse!
    So off to my workshop , I did go .
    One more thing , I had to know
    There in my shop, I looked all around
    Oh my , in all the holiday haste it could not be found!
    A gift for my wife was nowhere to be ,
    I had nothing to go under the tree.

    Grabbing my chisel , and a piece of wood , all I could find was cherry
    This was not good!
    The rest of the night , I sweated and paced
    Beating my hands with consistent grace .
    The morning light, did find me there passed out in my old wooden chair.
    Somehow I had managed to make it though now there was only one thing to do .
    I grabed some old papers and tied it all up
    Used a bit of rawhide , to finish it up!
    Inside I did go with the treasure, I had
    Just in time too.. for there came from the bed
    The morning voice I knew so well..
    Oh **** I’m tired but I have things to do .

    Putting the package under the tree
    Here she came staring at me.
    What’s that you have there , I want to see
    A present for you .. You know it’s from me.

    She laughed when she saw the wrapping , but pulled on the bow
    the rawhide string don't you know
    Her face , quickly changed
    Then took on a glow
    There stood the little girl , I use to know

    The smile that came to me on that day
    Was one that would… melt snow away!
    She kissed me and said oh how nice
    As she held her new made tiny mice.

    Merry Christmas , was all I could say
    It’s all about love , that makes this Day !

  • #2
    Re: How to get ready for Holidays

    I like it............a lot!!!!


    • #3
      Re: How to get ready for Holidays

      Thanks Paul ,

      A bit of Pre season grins Cheers .


      • #4
        Re: How to get ready for Holidays

        Yep, What Paul said.

        Ash, you be a man of many talents.


        • #5
          Re: How to get ready for Holidays

          What a grin on a cold Wednesday morning. Thank you for sharing it!!!!!!! )


          • #6
            Re: How to get ready for Holidays

            WOW! How long did that take to write? Cute and very original!



            • #7
              Re: How to get ready for Holidays

              Thanks all Glad I could give a grin =)

              Jillsy Thanks That would be me Cute and Orginial !

              how long to write it
              using Susan's standard a lifetime

              Glad you liked it.

              Oh using the clock , I came in at 4:00 lit the furance , came to the office did the search thing .. so about 20 mins but I am a slow typist .

              But I had help was thinking of Goody with the cake part =)


              • #8
                Re: How to get ready for Holidays

                I think it worked !

                Not to bad so far . Oh the wood is spanish cedar.



                • #9
                  Re: How to get ready for Holidays

                  Great poem,was it a Ashby original,thanks anyway you made me laugh.
                  Mark N. Akers
                  My Etsy Store:


                  • #10
                    Re: How to get ready for Holidays

                    Does getting my appetite ready work!Talking


                    • #11
                      Re: How to get ready for Holidays

                      Can't hurt Kenny =)

                      Mark yep it is mine , had a lot of fun doing that.

                      Beside , it was too easy to do ....

                      Me stealing cake ..
                      Me looking for Ice cream ....
                      Me getting yelled at my the wife ..
                      Me forgeting anything ...
                      me rushing around at the last minute ...
                      me wraping a gift with rawhide ...

                      LOL nope not me ... IT's ALL FICTION!!!!!!!!

                      And to Quote a friend of ours
                      "that's my story and I am sticking to it " !



                      • #12
                        Re: How to get ready for Holidays

                        Cake & ice cream ......

                        (sounds of homer-like slobbering and drooling)